Don’t Hate Me Because…
I didn’t like Chita’s show. Did you ever see the episode of Seinfeld (shout out to Jean) where Elaine becomes ostracized from society because she hated The English Patient? Well, I liked The English Patient, but I did not like Chita Rivera: A Dancer’s Life which just finished it’s San Diego run before taking to the Broadway stage very soon. I got a free ticket to the final SD show last night through the chorus. While it was awesome to see someone who had such a rich and influential Broadway career, most everything about Chita’s show sucked. And I’m the one who is getting grief about it!
Although I really need to be getting to bed, I won’t be able to sleep until I tell you all why. But, first, let me say that everyone I talked to before seeing the show just raved and raved about it…everyone, that is, but one person, my old dancing buddy and good friend, Trina. Trina told me it sucked. Trina told me that there was very little dancing. On Friday, I told someone that I heard there was very little dancing, and he went around the bar and rounded up three or four witnesses to protest that there was actually quite a bit of dancing. "It was all dancing!" one of them exclaimed. I just remembered Trina’s words, "it’s called A Dancer’s Life, but there’s no dancing!" and gushed about how excited I was to finally get to see it.
A tiny part of me wonders if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but Trina was right…there was very little dancing. There was not one complete dance number in the whole show. It was a real shame because the back-up cast was made up of some of the best dancers from Broadway (people from Fosse and the like). One of the girls I recognized from the movie, Chicago (the "he walked into my knife" girl), and she did little more than a kick-ball-change and a jazz square! I know it was choreographed to make the 95-year-old star look like she still had the moves, but I wasn’t fooled. Furthermore, that lady can’t really sing anymore, her life story is boring, her personality is bland, and the book doesn’t stir any emotions at all.
OK, so after the show, the big group from the chorus is just overflowing with praise for the old lady. Everyone seemed especially impressed with how much she could do at her age. This pissed me off! 72 is not that old to wear a sparkly dress and sing a few songs while waving your arms a few times (she did have very nice arms, I’ll give her that). I saw some really old ladies on Rosie O’Donnell once who were Can-Can dancers, and they could still hold one foot up by their head and hop in a circle on the other one and also do a jump into a split. Anyway, I don’t care if she was 150, if a show can’t keep my interest (which, I’ll admit, is really not that hard to do…I’ve seen Spice World at least 50 times), it’s not a good show!
Someone told me that she’s definitely going to win a Tony once it gets to New York. I don’t agree. The New York critics and audiences will tear it apart within the first week. If I’m wrong and it is a success, we will all be able to look forward to more aging stars in mediocre shows that waste the talents of incredible dancers.
Back to how I’ve been treated for not liking the show. People argue with me. I’m sorry…if I didn’t like it, I didn’t like it. You’re not going to make me see that I was being a stubborn fool and instantly change my tune. They also get very sour. "Well, she is 72!" I took a ballet class today, and the teacher asked if anyone had seen it. I said "yeah!" She was like "didn’t you just love it?" I was like "it was okay." Boom! Her face dropped, and I swear for the rest of the class, she seemed just a bit short with me. Now I’m afraid to tell people how I really felt about the show, and I think I won’t. It’s hard to say that I loved it…I might crack like Elaine did, but it was somewhat pleasant so I’ll just channel that when people ask me about it. Alright, I feel better now!
