Back in CALI
I’m in San Diego and so is all my stuff. It was a tough journey, but I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m getting used to it. The most difficult leg was bringing my baggage downstairs this morning. Each of my five bags was very heavy, so I ended up making four trips down the five flights. I meant to do that early so that I’d be all ready for the shuttle driver, but he was running early and I was running late. He was annoyed by how long it was taking me to go up and down, and when I was finally done he told me I’d have to pay extra because I had too many bags. I didn’t have to pay extra, however, at the check-in even though two of my checked bags were deemed too heavy for the conveyer belt. That was a relief.
There was a New York promotional video playing on loop by my gate, and my girl Aisha Tyler was on it. I just can’t say her name without smiling. I love her!
Flying JetBlue is really the only way to fly because you get, like, 30 cable channels to flip through the entire flight. I saw the Missy video three times, and I got to see a really good episode of Starting Over with my girl, former national gymnastics co-champion Vanessa Atler. My entire row was empty so I devised a system where I’d watch one show on my screen and simultaneously flip through the neighboring screen to see if there might be something better. Oh, I think Patricia Arquette was on my flight. I was like "FRANKIE!!!" (Didn’t you see "Stigmata?"
I ordered the Mini-Glide flat iron today. Here’s how it happened. I went to the little salon nearby to get my hair relaxed, but they told me they didn’t have the right kind of relaxer for me. Apparently there are two types of relaxers: one for white people and one for black people. If hair has been relaxed with one and you try to use the other one, the hair will melt. My hair guy in New York used the black people relaxer on me, for obvious reasons, so they couldn’t use theirs on me today. Instead they took a flat iron to my head and made it look spiky and textured. They said that a flat iron will cost as much as one relaxer, and I can use it forever so I decided I might as well get one. I told them about the Maxi and Mini-Glides. They were skeptical, but I’ll show them when it arrives in five to seven business days. I really hope I don’t have to wait that long.
My roommate is cool. He picked me up at the airport and took me to lunch and took me grocery shopping. He doesn’t seem weirded out by the way I eat which is a big plus. He didn’t even ask where I get my protein! I kinda wish he had, though, because I’ve got a funny and dirty answer to that question that I’m dying to say to someone. Can you guess what it is? Yeah, that’s right!
It’s seven forty, and I’m resigned to the fact that I will not be sleeping on a bed tonight. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be able to go to IKEA or something and get one. Thank god for wall-to-wall carpeting.
