Charlie’s Blog

I’m in San Diego and so is all my stuff. It was a tough journey, but I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m getting used to it. The most difficult leg was bringing my baggage downstairs this morning. Each of my five bags was very heavy, so I ended up making four trips down the five flights. I meant to do that early so that I’d be all ready for the shuttle driver, but he was running early and I was running late. He was annoyed by how long it was taking me to go up and down, and when I was finally done he told me I’d have to pay extra because I had too many bags. I didn’t have to pay extra, however, at the check-in even though two of my checked bags were deemed too heavy for the conveyer belt. That was a relief.

There was a New York promotional video playing on loop by my gate, and my girl Aisha Tyler was on it. I just can’t say her name without smiling. I love her!

Flying JetBlue is really the only way to fly because you get, like, 30 cable channels to flip through the entire flight. I saw the Missy video three times, and I got to see a really good episode of Starting Over with my girl, former national gymnastics co-champion Vanessa Atler. My entire row was empty so I devised a system where I’d watch one show on my screen and simultaneously flip through the neighboring screen to see if there might be something better. Oh, I think Patricia Arquette was on my flight. I was like "FRANKIE!!!" (Didn’t you see "Stigmata?"

I ordered the Mini-Glide flat iron today. Here’s how it happened. I went to the little salon nearby to get my hair relaxed, but they told me they didn’t have the right kind of relaxer for me. Apparently there are two types of relaxers: one for white people and one for black people. If hair has been relaxed with one and you try to use the other one, the hair will melt. My hair guy in New York used the black people relaxer on me, for obvious reasons, so they couldn’t use theirs on me today. Instead they took a flat iron to my head and made it look spiky and textured. They said that a flat iron will cost as much as one relaxer, and I can use it forever so I decided I might as well get one. I told them about the Maxi and Mini-Glides. They were skeptical, but I’ll show them when it arrives in five to seven business days. I really hope I don’t have to wait that long.

My roommate is cool. He picked me up at the airport and took me to lunch and took me grocery shopping. He doesn’t seem weirded out by the way I eat which is a big plus. He didn’t even ask where I get my protein! I kinda wish he had, though, because I’ve got a funny and dirty answer to that question that I’m dying to say to someone. Can you guess what it is? Yeah, that’s right!

It’s seven forty, and I’m resigned to the fact that I will not be sleeping on a bed tonight. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be able to go to IKEA or something and get one. Thank god for wall-to-wall carpeting.

I’m watching an infomercial for a hair straightening iron that claims to get your hair "Bone Straight." Is that really an expression? Are bones known for being especially straight? I can’t help but wonder if this thing works on short hair like mine. Once Leia used her flat iron to straighten my hair, and it looked pretty cool, but I don’t think I could’ve done it myself. I’ll tell you, it was so fucking humid this weekend that my hair would not stay straight now matter how I blow-dried it or how much product I used. Tomorrow I’m going to be in a place where the air is dry and everyday is a good hair day! I’ll never leave, either!

People ask me if I’m all packed, and I say no. Then they look horrified. Shouldn’t you be at home packing? Shouldn’t you keep your unsolicited advice to yourself? Yeah, but I’m still not done packing. All I have left are two small boxes of files and documents that I don’t really feel like sifting through, my suits and jackets that I’m about to put in a garment bag, and various books, CD’s, and toiletries that didn’t make it into the boxes I’ve already mailed.

Why won’t they show the Maxi-Glide (isn’t that a gross name for a flat iron?) on short hair? Ah yeah! They just did! Where’s my credit card? It’s the Mini-Glide.

So last night, my roommates and I went to Park which is a really pretty restaurant/bar that is gay on Sunday. It was pretty dead when we got there, but it picked up by the time we left. I can always count on running into random people there, and of course last night was no different. I saw a girl I had waited tables with, the guy I was in love with in my old yoga class, one of my first friends in New York, this guy from NU who goes out a lot, my old yoga teacher from Chicago (so hot!), a really cute TA from NU, and this other guy from Chicago who had the nickname "Big Scary."

Alright, I got things to do! Tomorrow morning I am out so next time I’ll be writing from the SD.

I’m about to leave the house to go to my last day at the office. I find it so sad that I’ve been pushing paper and making copies at this law firm for FIVE WHOLE MONTHS. While I’ve met some fun people, had some fun times, and have reveled in the very low stress environment, it still feels like all of the hours I spent there could have been put to better use in terms of my ultimate life’s direction. In fact, I feel that way about every job I’ve had in New York. I guess that’s probably common.

Yesterday was my last hurrah at karaoke at the bar on the corner. I sang two songs I’d never done before: "If I Could Turn Back Time" and "Eternal Flame." They were both well received. There’s one guy at the bar who always tells me that he’s my biggest fan which is awesome, especially since he’s a really great singer. Alexis sang her standards "Build Me Up Buttercup" and "Cabaret." I feel proud for being the one who encouraged her to sing "Cabaret" for the first time many months ago because she really does it well. These two girls sang "Hit Me Baby One More Time," and they really proved that Britney has some vocal talent. That song just sounds lousy in a normal, clear voice. Britney’s thin, twangy, cracky voice adds necessary richness and flair to an otherwise bland tune. If you don’t believe me, get thee to a karaoke bar with a clear-voiced girl and take a listen. You’ll see.

I met my friend David and his friend at a bar. The last time I’d seen his friend, it was at gay night at this really posh club, Duvet. She insisted on getting drinks for my date and me. Then, after my date had left and I was getting ready to leave, she yelled at me that I owed her a ton of money for the two expensive drinks. I didn’t argue, but I also was out of cash because I wasn’t even planning on buying drinks. I just had one because she really wouldn’t let me say no, and it seemed like she would be paying. I eventually had to run to the convenience store down the block and take out cash to pay her, and it wasn’t very pleasant. Might I add that this girl’s salary is about thrice mine. Well, last night she was very apologetic about it and bought me a drink to express that. She was really cool, and I enjoyed hanging out with her. PS: Why is Thursday 80’s night at practically every gay bar in New York??

Tomorrow we’re all going to Jersey City for their pride celebration! Sounds like fuN!

Can I just add that I’m getting ready to take a stand against all forms of smoothie conversation! It is impossible to walk three feet with a smoothie without some busybody thinking that the glass contains not a drinkable snack, but a golden invitation with his/her name on it to five minutes of senseless chatter about all things blended. I had two smoothies today. The first one was so good, I wanted another one later. I should have anticipated a mandatory sentence of hefty explanations to everyone, especially those who had seen me with the first one. "What’s in it? Why’d you get another one? Why did you get it with that?" One girl had the gall to loudly exclaim "Eeeeww" when I revealed my drink’s contents. Thanks, bitch!

It seems like people just want to find that secret smoothie recipe that has eluded them all their lives. Newsflash! What I like, you might not like so let me enjoy it in peace!

The scary thing is that I really want to go get a third one, but I really don’t want to deal with the flack I’ll get. Any ideas for snappy or even politely evasive responses to their questions? I think for now I’ll say that I don’t know what’s in it. And if they ask why not, I’ll say I don’t know, and so on. That’ll be a good start, I guess. Sometimes I have a feeling I’m turning into a cranky person.

It sucks that it’s been so long since I’ve updated! Life without a computer sucks. Things are looking up, though. The girl who is replacing me in my apartment has already moved in (yippee…not), but she does have a computer with wireless internet that she is willing to share. I guess it’s the least she could do while the living room is taken over.

Only a week until my move! I shipped two boxes which sounds easy, but, I assure you, was anything but. Maybe I picked boxes that were too big, but I felt that it would be cheaper and easier to send a few big boxes rather than many small ones. Well, last night I took the first one to the UPS Store which is about five blocks away. It started feeling really heavy by the time I reached the front door to my apartment, and I knew the journey would be neither fun nor painless. I did it, though. And today, like Britney, I did it again with the slightly lighter box, this time carrying it most of the way on my head like a Caribbean woman with water and fruit. It was still difficult, but I’m so relieved and happy that they’re on their way and that it didn’t cost as much as I’d feared.

Shit, I’m at the library again, and it seems like my time might be up. I don’t really know, but I’m hoping not. There’s more to tell! I went bowling last night! I had a freak manscaping mishap on Sunday. Saturday was really fun, just like I’d expected!

Yo! I’m writing today from the New York Public Library near my work. I just had to get away. I left my iPod at home because I was planning on listening to my radio all day at work. Silly me, I left my radio at home, too, but it all worked out for the best because I sat with Jenny who invited me to come here with her, and now I get to update the ol’ blog.

Last night was really fun! After work, I met up with W and Dave and Ebs over at Posh. They all got there late so I was hanging out at the bar for a while, but that’s really not the kind of place to strike up a conversation with someone, especially at happy hour when it is clique city. Anyway, I wasn’t in the mood to talk to strangers so I sat quietly until they came. We all got caught up and shared weekend plans before heading downtown to meet my roommate Jay and other NU people at XES. XES is great for happy hour, not for the 2-4-1 drinks, but for the music videos they play. All of my favorites like Brandy and Britney were on, but the greatest was the recent R. Kelly, "Trapped in the Closet." If you haven’t seen that yet, get thee to a TV and quickly! It is a grand work of melodrama that kept me at the edge of my seat. You don’t want to be distracted while watching because he tells a rather complicated story with sometimes muddled lyrics. It’s all about cheating, and there are gay themes! My new mini-goal in life is to learn that entire song. My time frame is one week and a half.

Speaking of a week and a half, that’s how much more time I’ll be in New York!

Oh yeah, so at XES there was minor drama because someone in our group was so drunk he fell asleep. We woke him up and tried to get him into a cab, but he wanted to take the subway. I’m not about arguing with drunk people so I was like, go ahead, but Dave made a strong case for taking a taxi. Dave’s case wasn’t strong enough, and the guy went home and eventually arrived in one piece. We then left for Gym, the gay sports bar hot spot that everyone is going to. I don’t really like Gym all that much, but they do play all of my songs so I’ll go there anytime. While there, I ran into a going-out friend of mine from Chicago. He’s the kind of person who is always really great to talk to at bars, and that’s not so common. I don’t know him much outside of bars, but it was great to see him.

Then, my favorite server from Ruby Foo’s (the horrible restaurant I worked at), Audrey, called me to meet at a sushi place. It was great to see her, and others from the restaurant came down and met us later. They’re all fun people. One guy told a story of how he went on a diet and lost a bunch of weight during his first semester at college. When he went home, his mom had just seen "The Karen Carpenter Story," and she looked at how skinny he’d become and was upset. She said "I know that Karen had issues with her weight because of her mother. I just want you to know that you’re beautiful, and I love you." Isn’t that sweet and funny at the same time.

There are some cute guys in the library today!

This weekend should be fun and relaxing. Leia and Alison are coming to town tomorrow night, and I also plan on getting my gymnastics on! What else? Who knows…keep reading.

Back in the city! These next few weeks are about having fun with friends, tying up loose ends, and packing and moving gracefully. I’m writing from W’s computer again. We stayed up late watching gay movies on Logo, the basic cable gay channel. We watched one movie called "Making Love" about a married man who comes out. His wife is played by Kate Jackson from Charlie’s Angels. Once, I met an old man who used to do hair or makeup or something in Hollywood. I asked him what celebrity was the most difficult, and he said without hesitation "Kate Jackson." She’s the unofficial biggest bitch in Hollywood!

Last night, I took the GMAT and did well…better than in my practice tests. Now after I finish my personal statement and request a few transcripts, I should be admitted to school without a hitch. My program is for an MS in Accounting which will prepare me to realize my dream of becoming a non-profit CEO or private school business manager. Woohoo!

I’m really excited that I just found a deep conditioning treatment in W’s bathroom. My hair stylist was recently very alarmed about the damaged and dry state of my hair right now after all of the processing and heat-styling and chlorine I’ve put it through. Sometimes I think she was being a little overdramatic about it in order to influence me to pay her big bucks for a professional conditioning job, but I’m really not rolling in cash like that. W told me that he also has a blow dryer, but I can’t find it anywhere and am fearful of going to work with a fro, but I have no other choice.

Speaking of work, I’d better log off and start getting ready to leave if I want to make it there before 11.

So last night my sneaky, manipulative mother is like, "Charlie, how would you like to ride with us to San Francisco tomorrow? While we get flowers for the wedding, you can go walk around the city and go shopping? We’re leaving at 8:30." I was like, damn, that’s early, but I said okay. Then I thought about traffic and wondered why they would drive to the city during rush hour. Then I remembered a California phenomenon: the car-pool lane. Then I realized why the bitch wanted me to come along: to make the minimum three passengers to travel in the car-pool lane allowing them to avoid traffic and to go across the bridge for free. I told her that I’d figured it out and she gave me her evil cackle. Then I told her she’d have to give me money to get me to go along and she said okay so I couldn’t really say anything else. Although I did give her some helpful driving tips along the way since she can’t drive for shit and every ride with her could be my last. We actually drove in a rental car because she crashed her Toyota the night before last.

Yay! Tia and Tamara are flying to Chicago to see Boyz II Men! Gabrielle Union came on (oh no! don’t buy tickets from a scalper! silly twins!) yesterday’s episode, and she showed definite star quality. She was among a group of girls. Even though she didn’t have more lines or a more interesting character than the other girls, her charisma and talent stood out, and I have no doubt that casting agents all over Hollywood saw that and decided to immediately get her off "Sister, Sister" and on "Friends," "Bring it On" and that movie with LL Cool J. I called my sister to come in and check out her raw talent way back when, but she didn’t find it so exciting. I can’t remember what snide comment she had about Gabrielle, but it’s surely not worth repeating. Ooh! Today’s episode has Pee Wee’s fat best friend!

Greetings from Hercules! Herctown gonna be the bomb on Saturday because my sister is getting married.

I’m just as happy as a clam because I’m in the middle of watching back to back episodes of my very favorite Disney shows. Apparently my eight-year-old soon-to-be neice loves "That’s So Raven" just as much as I do. My dad was really excited to see that little Olivia from Cosby is doing so well for herself. He joked that Rudy isn’t doing anything, but I set him straight. She played a hot, druglord girlfriend in "Beauty Shop" and a sexy Bank of America teller in the Chingy video.

Speaking of Rudy, I guess I had a pretty Rudy day yesterday in San Diego. I got a haircut at a tiny but cute and well-designed salon that had only been open a few weeks. Can you believe that I was the only one there who had seen "Beauty Shop?" That’s like visiting a bunch of boxers in training and being the only one who has seen "Rocky." Also, Jay’s friend works at Bank of America, and he volunteered to try to get me a job there as, what else, a sexy teller! So now you understand how I was totally channeling Keshia.

My parents cleaned out EVERYTHING in my bedroom. I never realized how big it is with all the shit I had in there. My new bedroom in the apartment I found in SD is bigger, though, and I’ll have my own bathroom. I do need to make sure my bootleg Britney concert video is still around the house.

I’ve only been here a few hours, but I’ve already seen two of my very favorite Bay Area friends, Emily and Angela. I met Angela at a cafe in Walnut Creek for just a little while since she’s in the middle of finals. Anyway, there was a kinda familiar and (why is Macy Gray on "That’s So Raven" as a drycleaner delivery girl?) cute thirty-something guy at the table next to us talking to some chick. Then she left, and after a few minutes some old people started talking to him. I told Angela that he looked familiar. She thought so, too. She thought we might have known him from local theater we had done in high school, but I was thinking bigger…TV. She said that she had, in fact, seen someone take a picture with him before I got there. HELLO! I didn’t want to bother him so I told Angela, since she’s cute, to wait until I left and ask him who the hell he is. I’m still waiting for her to call me to let me know! I’ll make sure to post it.

Here I am in San Diego! I’m here checking things out and trying to find an apartment. I’m looking at five places tonight. All of them involve living with other people so they will be interviewing me to see if I will mesh while I will have to make sure they’re not weirdos and that the place is good for me. Wish me luck!

I’m staying at Jay’s new house which is so cool! It’s got a sleek, modern feel and tons of huge windows that overlook rolling hills. He took me to a Mexican grocery store yesterday where they had the cheapest fruit ever! I bought so much! I told Jay that if fruit were that cheap at my market in New York, my bank account would be fat!

I’d forgotten how cool it gets at night in California. In Chicago and New York, the heat just burns on through the evening, but over here you need to throw on a sweater. Of course I didn’t bring a sweater.

Hey! I was very disappointed last night. I picked up "The Devil Wears Prada" at a thrift store, and after two chapters my verdict is SUCKS! I heard it was good, but it was actually painful to read.

Not sure what I’m doing during the day today, but I will see Tiffany after my apt search. YAY! It’s been too long, and I definitely miss her.

Oh, I checked out the gay hood last night. It’s a pretty long strip, but it definitely looks like one suburban strip mall after the other. It is easy to park there, so that’s a huge bonus. There’s a Whole Foods, too, so I think I could easily get used to it.